January 23rd, 2011
I'm not letting them go anywhere alone anymore. Not unless we've got some sort of communication system in place, anyway.
Last night, Nate and Gunnar went to a hotel that was scheduled to be demolished. I was going to be the distraction so that they could get past the security. What was the worst that could happen, right?
Well, apparently the worst was some shinobi showing off and expediting the already short countdown to demolition, causing Nate and Gunnar to jump out of an exploding building. They're lucky they didn't break anything.
So I put on my "distracting" shoes and dropped them off. And then I waited. And waited.
And the building exploded. The demolition that was supposed to happen months from now happened last night, with Nate and Gunnar inside. I literally can't leave them alone for ten minutes.
Even when I stick with them I often end up having to take at least one, if not both of them, to the hospital. I worry that if we part ways for too long, I might have to bury one of them.
I don't like that idea.
I've begun publishing unfinished entries as a way of allowing readers to preview the entries which are yet to come. Also, the dates don't mean anything as far as actual in-game chronology goes.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
My Hit and Run
January 22nd, 2011
I have a brother.
Well, half-brother. And he's old enough to be my father.
And I feel really stupid for not realizing who he was.
You know what, let me start over.
The guys went to see their fathers, and I went to hang out with mine. Dad was the one who told me I had siblings. Two of them, actually. One is a younger sister, and the other is an older brother (making me the monkey in the middle).
Neither wants anything to do with Dad and his war. I can't blame them, currently. I might have thought twice if I'd really known what I was getting into, and that it was going to involve being shot and slashed at so damn much.
Also, fuck ninjas.
Dad gave me a hotel name and a room number. Didn't give me my brother's name, which I realize now in hindsight that I really should have asked.
There are a lot of things I really should have asked.
I'm no good at this investigation crap, which makes it a really good thing that I've become friends with a cop and a P.I.
At least, I think we're friends.
Gunnar's always hitting on me, and lets me crash at his place, and Nate has yet to try to arrest me (or Nevermore, who probably deserves it).
I got dressed at Gunnar's room, where I've been crashing since we met. I was dressed if not to kill, then definitely to distract. It was a red number, tight in all the right places with a low neck and a high slit on the side. I figured this was a great plan for getting past security.
It would have been a great plan. Except that I didn't figure that his security would be titan-fucking-spawn. I couldn't tell what they were, and I really only saw the one guarding the elevator exit the first time I tried to get up to talk to my brother.
I thought my heart was going to say, "Yeah, you have fun with that," walk out of my chest and leave me to handle this on my own. Then the guard just told me to turn around. So I did, because I'm smart like that.
No, I'm not. I turned around because I didn't really have any other options. And he pushed me into the elevator.
So I came back later, with Gunnar and Nate. I'm not sure where we stand with one another, but I am sure that they are already the best backup a girl could have.
We decided they would wait in the elevator and I would try again to get past the guard. If something went wrong I'd call the safety word or something. It would have been a great plan if we'd actually picked a safety word.
Then Gunnar mentioned that these guys were cyclopes. Two of them. And, having taken all those courses on Greek Myth after my dad popped up off my autopsy table, I remembered that they eat people and are generally unpleasant to be around.
I was filled with confidence here.
I stepped off the elevator, determined to talk to my brother. Or at least determined to live through this.
I tried deception, I tried diversion then finally I broke down and tried honesty.
I just wanted to talk to him. He was the only family I knew of (and my dad doesn't really count; he's in a league so different talking to him feels like trying to chat up a time traveler from 82 BCE).
They were reluctant to let me in because he might have been sleeping. I pushed, like I do because sometimes (and by sometimes I mean most of the time) I'm too stubborn to know better. Then one of them started groping me.
I freaked. Since Kabul, I don't do well with people trying to touch me.
I really don't do well with a stereotypically violent creature's hand on my breasts.
I just shouted Gunnar's name, because we didn't have a safety word. He and Nate sprang into the hallway, action-cop style and I... I almost caused a diplomatic incident.
It turns out Jim-Bob the cyclops was just trying to pat me down. Of course, I learned this after Gunnar put a bullet hole in the hallway.
It could have been worse, and I'm really surprised this didn't send the titanspawn into a rage. I decided just to come back in the morning, at Nate and Gunnar's urging. I never claimed to be the brains of the operation.
I'm just glad Nevermore wasn't there for that, I would never ever hear the end of it. I can't remember if I apologized to the cyclopes.
I should have. I blushed a little as I passed the hole Gunnar had left in the wall with his fancy Deagle when I came back in the morning.
I got into my brother's room with little incident this time. I'd actually taken Nevermore with me, because (and this is how I know the gods have a sense of humor) his memory is better than mine.
It was tense in there. I was on edge, and my brother was too. I told him I'd wanted to meet him as soon as I found out I had family. I left out the part where Dad sent me to talk to him, but I didn't lie to him at all.
I kept saying we had the same father, and he finally asked me point blank. No more subterfuge. "My father is Apollo." It still sounds a little ridiculous when I say it. His name was Don. He was older than myself, but easy enough to get along with. It took a while, a lot longer than it should have, to put it together.
My half brother is Don Henley.
Yeah, that one. He gave me a cord Dad had given him, catgut from when it was really made with catgut, taken from the Nemean Fucking Lion.
Yeah.
We talked for a while, about a lot of different shit. We exchanged numbers, because I wasn't lying when I told him I was lonely. It's hard being like we are, scions, I mean. Things tend to just change around us, and it's especially hard facing the fact that we were enlisted from conception... No, that's not accurate. We were actually conceived for the purpose of fighting someone else's war. That's what we were meant for, and trying to buck the trend or go against the grain can be disastrous.
And I'm speaking from experience there. I myself strayed from "the path" and I got people killed. That's what Scions do, and that's what Don wants no part in. Normal mortals rarely understand how this can weigh on a person's - a Scion's - shoulders. More than that, just acknowledging that one's parent was more than a normal mortal is enough to break you. If I walked into a police station and said, "Hello, I am a daughter of Apollo and I would like to help you fight crime," they would lock me up.
I'm really lucky now to have Nate and Gunnar to talk to. It hadn't occurred to me just how lucky until I met Don.
He's got a family, a normal family, and because of that... because of the presence of normal, jealous and ignorant mortals I can't really have any communication with my brother.
But I don't have to hide anything from Nate and Gunnar. Yeah, sometimes Nate has to look the other way when my methods become less than legal but that would happen if we were hanging out as normal people.
That's different, though. I don't have to worry with the guys, like I do when I'm in surgery. There's always that fear that I'll press the scalpel, squeeze a patient's hand too hard. I have to put makeup on to become -less- attractive because I've distracted interns and almost lost a patient because of it. I've had to wear contacts to "normalize" my irises because apparently they freak people out.
But with Nate and Gunnar I can be... I -am- completely myself. They're tougher than mortal men. I wonder if they know how cool I think that is.
As soon as I said that to Don, that I just wanted to know someone else like me, that it's tough being like us and it's lonely, he got it.
I have family. That's kinda weird.
Just before I left, he told me about the inspiration for that song, "Hotel California." It's a real place. I don't think I ever want to see it, but somehow I know I'll probably have to, eventually.
I have a brother.
Well, half-brother. And he's old enough to be my father.
And I feel really stupid for not realizing who he was.
You know what, let me start over.
The guys went to see their fathers, and I went to hang out with mine. Dad was the one who told me I had siblings. Two of them, actually. One is a younger sister, and the other is an older brother (making me the monkey in the middle).
Neither wants anything to do with Dad and his war. I can't blame them, currently. I might have thought twice if I'd really known what I was getting into, and that it was going to involve being shot and slashed at so damn much.
Also, fuck ninjas.
Dad gave me a hotel name and a room number. Didn't give me my brother's name, which I realize now in hindsight that I really should have asked.
There are a lot of things I really should have asked.
I'm no good at this investigation crap, which makes it a really good thing that I've become friends with a cop and a P.I.
At least, I think we're friends.
Gunnar's always hitting on me, and lets me crash at his place, and Nate has yet to try to arrest me (or Nevermore, who probably deserves it).
I got dressed at Gunnar's room, where I've been crashing since we met. I was dressed if not to kill, then definitely to distract. It was a red number, tight in all the right places with a low neck and a high slit on the side. I figured this was a great plan for getting past security.
It would have been a great plan. Except that I didn't figure that his security would be titan-fucking-spawn. I couldn't tell what they were, and I really only saw the one guarding the elevator exit the first time I tried to get up to talk to my brother.
I thought my heart was going to say, "Yeah, you have fun with that," walk out of my chest and leave me to handle this on my own. Then the guard just told me to turn around. So I did, because I'm smart like that.
No, I'm not. I turned around because I didn't really have any other options. And he pushed me into the elevator.
So I came back later, with Gunnar and Nate. I'm not sure where we stand with one another, but I am sure that they are already the best backup a girl could have.
We decided they would wait in the elevator and I would try again to get past the guard. If something went wrong I'd call the safety word or something. It would have been a great plan if we'd actually picked a safety word.
Then Gunnar mentioned that these guys were cyclopes. Two of them. And, having taken all those courses on Greek Myth after my dad popped up off my autopsy table, I remembered that they eat people and are generally unpleasant to be around.
I was filled with confidence here.
I stepped off the elevator, determined to talk to my brother. Or at least determined to live through this.
I tried deception, I tried diversion then finally I broke down and tried honesty.
I just wanted to talk to him. He was the only family I knew of (and my dad doesn't really count; he's in a league so different talking to him feels like trying to chat up a time traveler from 82 BCE).
They were reluctant to let me in because he might have been sleeping. I pushed, like I do because sometimes (and by sometimes I mean most of the time) I'm too stubborn to know better. Then one of them started groping me.
I freaked. Since Kabul, I don't do well with people trying to touch me.
I really don't do well with a stereotypically violent creature's hand on my breasts.
I just shouted Gunnar's name, because we didn't have a safety word. He and Nate sprang into the hallway, action-cop style and I... I almost caused a diplomatic incident.
It turns out Jim-Bob the cyclops was just trying to pat me down. Of course, I learned this after Gunnar put a bullet hole in the hallway.
It could have been worse, and I'm really surprised this didn't send the titanspawn into a rage. I decided just to come back in the morning, at Nate and Gunnar's urging. I never claimed to be the brains of the operation.
I'm just glad Nevermore wasn't there for that, I would never ever hear the end of it. I can't remember if I apologized to the cyclopes.
I should have. I blushed a little as I passed the hole Gunnar had left in the wall with his fancy Deagle when I came back in the morning.
I got into my brother's room with little incident this time. I'd actually taken Nevermore with me, because (and this is how I know the gods have a sense of humor) his memory is better than mine.
It was tense in there. I was on edge, and my brother was too. I told him I'd wanted to meet him as soon as I found out I had family. I left out the part where Dad sent me to talk to him, but I didn't lie to him at all.
I kept saying we had the same father, and he finally asked me point blank. No more subterfuge. "My father is Apollo." It still sounds a little ridiculous when I say it. His name was Don. He was older than myself, but easy enough to get along with. It took a while, a lot longer than it should have, to put it together.
My half brother is Don Henley.
Yeah, that one. He gave me a cord Dad had given him, catgut from when it was really made with catgut, taken from the Nemean Fucking Lion.
Yeah.
We talked for a while, about a lot of different shit. We exchanged numbers, because I wasn't lying when I told him I was lonely. It's hard being like we are, scions, I mean. Things tend to just change around us, and it's especially hard facing the fact that we were enlisted from conception... No, that's not accurate. We were actually conceived for the purpose of fighting someone else's war. That's what we were meant for, and trying to buck the trend or go against the grain can be disastrous.
And I'm speaking from experience there. I myself strayed from "the path" and I got people killed. That's what Scions do, and that's what Don wants no part in. Normal mortals rarely understand how this can weigh on a person's - a Scion's - shoulders. More than that, just acknowledging that one's parent was more than a normal mortal is enough to break you. If I walked into a police station and said, "Hello, I am a daughter of Apollo and I would like to help you fight crime," they would lock me up.
I'm really lucky now to have Nate and Gunnar to talk to. It hadn't occurred to me just how lucky until I met Don.
He's got a family, a normal family, and because of that... because of the presence of normal, jealous and ignorant mortals I can't really have any communication with my brother.
But I don't have to hide anything from Nate and Gunnar. Yeah, sometimes Nate has to look the other way when my methods become less than legal but that would happen if we were hanging out as normal people.
That's different, though. I don't have to worry with the guys, like I do when I'm in surgery. There's always that fear that I'll press the scalpel, squeeze a patient's hand too hard. I have to put makeup on to become -less- attractive because I've distracted interns and almost lost a patient because of it. I've had to wear contacts to "normalize" my irises because apparently they freak people out.
But with Nate and Gunnar I can be... I -am- completely myself. They're tougher than mortal men. I wonder if they know how cool I think that is.
As soon as I said that to Don, that I just wanted to know someone else like me, that it's tough being like us and it's lonely, he got it.
I have family. That's kinda weird.
Just before I left, he told me about the inspiration for that song, "Hotel California." It's a real place. I don't think I ever want to see it, but somehow I know I'll probably have to, eventually.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Kids Are Alright
January 20th, 2011
I officially met the two other kids like me on guard duty. Well, kinda like me. Maybe a little less damaged and better adjusted.
Deputy Pritchert is... well, he's kind of a dork. But he is good at his job, and he's a respectable and tough dork. He's passionate about his work and helping people, which I admire. He's also been willing to look the other way when we three have had to do any breaking and entering, which I can also admire.
Gunnar is... impressive is a good word for him. The man can drink, he can fight, has an axe the size of me, and I get the impression he's very strong. Like there's a whole lot of muscle under that trench.
The fact that he hefts a footlocker like I hold a purse lends itself well to this theory. He gives me looks, but most guys (and some girls) do, and he's not grabby. Plus he's let me crash at his room, which has been convenient.
They make me feel safer than I did wandering the Strip by myself and knowing what's actually going on in this town with all the gods, that's for sure.
I officially met the two other kids like me on guard duty. Well, kinda like me. Maybe a little less damaged and better adjusted.
Deputy Pritchert is... well, he's kind of a dork. But he is good at his job, and he's a respectable and tough dork. He's passionate about his work and helping people, which I admire. He's also been willing to look the other way when we three have had to do any breaking and entering, which I can also admire.
Gunnar is... impressive is a good word for him. The man can drink, he can fight, has an axe the size of me, and I get the impression he's very strong. Like there's a whole lot of muscle under that trench.
The fact that he hefts a footlocker like I hold a purse lends itself well to this theory. He gives me looks, but most guys (and some girls) do, and he's not grabby. Plus he's let me crash at his room, which has been convenient.
They make me feel safer than I did wandering the Strip by myself and knowing what's actually going on in this town with all the gods, that's for sure.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Welcome to Fabulous...
January 19th, 2011
I've never been to Vegas before. It's otherworldly. Palm trees and desert and the most beautiful sunrises. Now I see what the Killers are always singing about.
I took my time doing so, but I finally got into town and was told to go wait at some diner. Larry's, I think? I took Nevermore in with me because he seems to have abandonment issues and won't let me leave him outside. Thankfully no one seemed to think it was too weird. I sat at the counter, ordered onion rings. There wasn't too much going on when I got there. Truckers and transvestites, and a huge guy who was cool enough to wear his sunglasses at night.
Some old guy walked in, called me and two other people to him in a booth. He talked like a good ol' boy. Handed me and the other kids metal pins. Mine was shaped like the sun. I tried not to be too obvious in sizing the other guys up, but I wanted to know how likely they were to get me killed. They both seem intelligent and on the level, though. We're supposed to go to a hotel and play watchdogs.
On the way out, I stopped and took a good look at my waitress, Fern. She seemed too tired, even for this job. Something about the smell of her, the flecks in her eyes, the sound of her breath told me she was quite ill. Spots in the air around her, growing bigger than they should.
Cancer, probably. That seems to be my own personal Lupus.
She didn't believe me, at first. Sometimes they don't.
I've never been to Vegas before. It's otherworldly. Palm trees and desert and the most beautiful sunrises. Now I see what the Killers are always singing about.
I took my time doing so, but I finally got into town and was told to go wait at some diner. Larry's, I think? I took Nevermore in with me because he seems to have abandonment issues and won't let me leave him outside. Thankfully no one seemed to think it was too weird. I sat at the counter, ordered onion rings. There wasn't too much going on when I got there. Truckers and transvestites, and a huge guy who was cool enough to wear his sunglasses at night.
Some old guy walked in, called me and two other people to him in a booth. He talked like a good ol' boy. Handed me and the other kids metal pins. Mine was shaped like the sun. I tried not to be too obvious in sizing the other guys up, but I wanted to know how likely they were to get me killed. They both seem intelligent and on the level, though. We're supposed to go to a hotel and play watchdogs.
On the way out, I stopped and took a good look at my waitress, Fern. She seemed too tired, even for this job. Something about the smell of her, the flecks in her eyes, the sound of her breath told me she was quite ill. Spots in the air around her, growing bigger than they should.
Cancer, probably. That seems to be my own personal Lupus.
She didn't believe me, at first. Sometimes they don't.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wave Goodbye
"Words get tangled on you tongue, and you stumble on your feet
When you miss somebody.
And everywhere you think you see them walking down the street
When you miss somebody.
When you miss somebody, you tell yourself a hundred thousand times,
"Nobody ever lives forever," so you give it one more try:
To wave goodbye
Wave goodbye
Yeah, when you miss somebody you tell yourself that everything will be alright.
You try to stand up strong and brave, but all you wanna do
Is lay down and die."
Chris Cornell, Wave Goodbye
This is the first year since she died that I've missed going to visit my mom's grave.
It feels weird.
When you miss somebody.
And everywhere you think you see them walking down the street
When you miss somebody.
When you miss somebody, you tell yourself a hundred thousand times,
"Nobody ever lives forever," so you give it one more try:
To wave goodbye
Wave goodbye
Yeah, when you miss somebody you tell yourself that everything will be alright.
You try to stand up strong and brave, but all you wanna do
Is lay down and die."
Chris Cornell, Wave Goodbye
This is the first year since she died that I've missed going to visit my mom's grave.
It feels weird.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Take Up Thy Stethescope and Walk
It's been a long time since I picked this thing up. I guess with Nevermore around I haven't felt the need so much to talk to myself.
Let's see, what's new... I finished Med School and my residency. I managed to pay off the remainder of my college debt early last year. Hal's money and my mom's money were put into high-yield savings accounts. Of all people, it was Nevermore who suggested that. Not really a people but I guess when some...thing... sticks around long enough it's kind of a habit to think of him as more than just an animal.
So, yeah. I've been getting investment tips from a bird. He's a mouthy son of a bitch, but he's my mouthy son of a bitch. In the past few years he's run off exactly two study buddies and five blind dates and I've given up on having a social life.
It turns out that was for the best, because I got a message from my dad telling me to get my ass to Vegas pronto. It's nice not having to explain shit when I need to disappear. So tonight I'm covering all of the furniture and putting a hold on my mail. I told work I need to go on a sabbatical, which wasn't news to them. They've been trying to get me to take a vacation for two years. Alan, my department supervisor, is afraid I'll burn out and they'll lose me.
Oh, semi-interesting developments. I eat and sleep way less than I used to, even when I first started med school. I got a lot stronger, and I kept up at target practice with Sibyl. I can't take her to a normal shooting range, but at least there are some quiet woods up in the hills.
Nevermore, who still won't tell me what his name is, actually lets me go into work alone now. Has for about a year. He does tend to follow me, but at least he waits outside the building.
I've been studying Greek, too. Figured I should know the language of my family. That stuff, knowing who my dad really is, hasn't gotten any less weird.
Let's see, what's new... I finished Med School and my residency. I managed to pay off the remainder of my college debt early last year. Hal's money and my mom's money were put into high-yield savings accounts. Of all people, it was Nevermore who suggested that. Not really a people but I guess when some...thing... sticks around long enough it's kind of a habit to think of him as more than just an animal.
So, yeah. I've been getting investment tips from a bird. He's a mouthy son of a bitch, but he's my mouthy son of a bitch. In the past few years he's run off exactly two study buddies and five blind dates and I've given up on having a social life.
It turns out that was for the best, because I got a message from my dad telling me to get my ass to Vegas pronto. It's nice not having to explain shit when I need to disappear. So tonight I'm covering all of the furniture and putting a hold on my mail. I told work I need to go on a sabbatical, which wasn't news to them. They've been trying to get me to take a vacation for two years. Alan, my department supervisor, is afraid I'll burn out and they'll lose me.
Oh, semi-interesting developments. I eat and sleep way less than I used to, even when I first started med school. I got a lot stronger, and I kept up at target practice with Sibyl. I can't take her to a normal shooting range, but at least there are some quiet woods up in the hills.
Nevermore, who still won't tell me what his name is, actually lets me go into work alone now. Has for about a year. He does tend to follow me, but at least he waits outside the building.
I've been studying Greek, too. Figured I should know the language of my family. That stuff, knowing who my dad really is, hasn't gotten any less weird.
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