Monday, May 7, 2012

The Thing I Hate

Dear therapy journal,
Now I remember what this thing is for.


It was a trap.

The short version? I'm going to make life for Kane and Ixion as unpleasant as possible. I don't think I'm going to kill them though. That would be too quick, and their parents are probably insane enough to care. I am going to show them the folly of pissing me off.

The slightly-longer version is this: It took two hits to take me down. The world went hazy and I slept for a while. I dreamed. Doesn't really matter what about. It's not relevant to the topic at hand.
The topic at hand? Fuck Ixion, and fuck Kane, and fuck the whole fucking lot of them.

They abducted me.
They drugged me.
They stripped me of everything - clothes, jewelry, relics, some of my skin. I woke up foggy-headed and naked, covered by a sheet that stuck to my back where it was wet. They had flayed my back - surgically, Iapyx assured me, like that makes it all fucking better - to get my tattoo off.
They stuck me in a ziggurat in the Labyrinth. The Labyrinth. Not the one with David Bowie. That would have been so much fucking cooler.
Kane walked in once, just to say hi, I guess. To let me know he was behind it, maybe. He checked my wounds and said I was healing nicely. I told him to go fuck himself. He asked me some questions which I don't remember
I got out, once. With some help.
Help that was so helpful, it had helped Kane and Ixion skin me.
Help that wanted me to take pity on the poor minotaurs who were starving to death because of the lack of dirt in the Labyrinth- and yeah, they're all male, and yeah they all looked at me like I had just said, "Rape me."
I guess, if I were to ever try to actually make a thing of it, I would probably be told that I was kinda asking for it, wandering into a village of them wearing nothing but a sheet. I don't fucking care if I'd walked in naked, "No" means "No," and if I have to say "No" more than once it's going to turn into, "Touch me and I'll skin you with your own fucking teeth."
And right when I was contemplating actually trying to help the little rape-monsters, that's when Ixion brought down the house I was standing in. He and nineteen of his closest friends. That's what I get for thinking about trying to help titanspawn. Twenty Ixions.
They told me to come with them. I told the one talking to go fuck himself. He asked me again and... I couldn't say no. I let him take me back and I let him put me back in chains.
Links two inches thick, holding me five feet off the ground. No real light in the room except when stone groaned against itself and something opened.

I spent nineteen days in that place. So I'm told. I didn't exactly have a watch and after the first few hours it all started feeling enough like eternity. Nineteen days Kane held me captive, getting away with gods-know-what in Midgar while everyone else was distracted.
I'm going to rip his face off, as soon as I can. Kane's and Ixion's - every shell of Ixion there is. I want a pound of flesh for every fucking day I was stuck there.

"You've treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit
You think you're in control but you make me sick
I want to watch you suffer
The way that you've made me suffer
I want to fuck up
Everything you've ever loved."
Stabbing Westward, The Thing I Hate (P.O.M.F.)