Young Folks

"If I told you things I did before, told you how I used to be
Would you go along with someone like me?
If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history
Would you go along with someone like me?

Usually when things has gone this far
People tend to disappear
No one will surprise me unless you do..."
Peter Bjorn and John, Young Folks

I picked Gunnar up from LAX this afternoon. We had a ... chat? discussion? talk?
I don't know what to call it. We talked, and we clarified some things.
Complicated some others.

He started it, asking me if I would have really gone through with the wedding. I hadn't really thought about it until he asked - didn't really have the time. But as soon as he asked me I knew I would have said, "I do." And I would have stuck to it, taken it seriously.
Understandably, he thought it was a little weird that I would marry a guy I'd known less than a month. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I'd known him less than a month but almost just as long I'd been sharing a room with him, and just as long he'd kept his hands to himself. I've seen him fight, and damn he can fight. Keeps his head when things get heavy, and makes a living helping people. I could do a fuck of a lot worse marrying some guy I just met in a skeezy diner in Vegas.
And the flirting... well, he started that, too. He'd been hitting on me almost since he saw me. Some of it was tacky, some of it was annoying, but some of it was sweet. The way his eyes got wide when Canopus tried to coil around me, that was kind of a clue. He said he started off hitting on me just to tease, but that there was some truth in it. He said maybe it'd be fun to see what happens, but just getting married right off the bat wouldn't have felt right. That he probably would have gone through with it too, but that he also probably would have regretted skipping the steps in between.
So here we are, taking the steps in between.
I do feel like maybe we might have something good here, like he could really make me happy. I get all stupid and grinning when he's around. I thrive when I'm taking care of people and honestly, he needs plenty of taking care of. I think he's got a lot of big fights ahead of him, and I don't really like the idea of him going it alone.
He's probably right though, about it not really being a normal thing to start a relationship with a wedding. Things aren't really supposed to work that way these days.
Maybe I was so willing to rush into a wedding because I'm afraid that my dad's track history with Scions is going to catch up with me. Especially when I let my temper get the best of me and go killing other Scions. But he said something along the lines of whatever wanting to get to me is going to have to go through him.
Before the car ride got too intense, I had to make the disclaimer. I'm damaged goods, and Gunnar needs to know that. I told him I don't want this to not work because I wasn't honest or something with him. So I told him everything. My dead mom, my scars from Kabul (physical and mental) and consequential lack of anything resembling a social life (was a little too shy to mention the lack of a sex life, though), losing my friend Hal and how terrified I am that I'm going to get another group of comrades killed.
It was still hard to talk about, but this time it was more like poking at a scar then pulling at an open wound. This is his chance to run screaming for the hills. I told him that if he's going to hop on this crazy train, these are all things he needs to know.

Still, Laurel Angela Esparza... Might sound kinda nice, one day.