Everything Will Be Alright

I feel so bipolar right now.

Gods, I hope I haven't freaked Gunnar out. He seems to be alright. At least he doesn't think I'm insane... that I know of...

So, yeah. We're in France, and it's been gorgeous and awesome and there have been absolutely no snakes or titans or crises of any kind. Well... yeah, I'm gonna stick with that. This isn't really a crisis.

I know I've been a little "off" all day, and I know he's noticed it and I had to 'fess up because I can't stand even feeling like I'm keeping something from him.
We sat down and I just started rambling, because even with all of my newfound social prowess that's still how I roll around him.
"Gods, this is weird. We need," I emphasized, "to talk. About kids." Without even thinking about it, I'd already folded my arms over my stomach, grasping at my sides. "What would we do if I got pregnant? We um... We need to have a plan. There are a lot of questions we should have answers to, like, who's going to raise our kids? Cuz we already kinda know it can't be us." That part was hard to admit. Harder to think about. "How often would we see them? Would we warn them what's in their future? If we did, when? What would we say? How would we protect them from the weird shit that's inevitably gonna seek them out?" I couldn't even look him in the eye for most of while I was rambling. I stared at my feet, or at the scenery around us. I was nervous. Scared. Well, terrified, really.
"Um, Gunnar?" I slowed down. I looked him in the eyes. I sighed and smiled, small and flustered. "So, um... I'm pregnant, Gunnar. With twins. Boys."
I'll give him full credit for trying to keep up with me. He started off trying to answer all of the questions I'd asked at the beginning. "Well I think we would... well I guess we might... Wait, you're what?" And the end part caught up with him. "How can you already know that?!"

Yeah, I knew he was going to ask that. That's what I'd been pondering all day, how to describe to him that I just knew. I didn't want to give the "because-I-just-know-but-I-won't-be-able-to-prove-it-to-you-with-any-sort-of-test-for-a-few-days-until-the-hormone-spikes-actually-show-up-in-my-blood-but-just-trust-me-on-this-because-I'm-going-to-one-day-be-a-goddess-of-this-type-of-thing-maybe" answer.
"Uh, well, it's going to sound weird. I mean, I knew right when it happened. But that seemed too weird, and I thought maybe I was wrong. Then I knew that no, I was right... And I felt like I could choose..." it was a difficult thing to put into words, kinda like trying to describe what happens when I make Gunnar all "Die Hard," or how I can tell someone's sick just by the colors around them. "Like I could choose boy or girl," I started picking up speed again, "and how many and I figured I don't want our dads fighting over who gets to have a Scion from us because that shit could seriously start a war... and what guy doesn't want strong, healthy boys?"
And he laughed. Which was a huge relief. "I think that's legit." I blinked a little at the word, smirking myself. "I, uh, yeah. Well, maybe we could convince my mom to raise them?" He was silent for a moment. "Maybe that wouldn't work. Shit, I dunno. I mean, I'd feel like shit putting them in the foster care system, but it would at least make it harder for bad dudes to find them if we have no other options." He thought for a few minutes, while I picked at my nails.
"When do we get our own scions anyways?" I'm not sure if I wanna know why he sounded so excited about that.
"When we're gods ourselves, I figure," I shrugged. "If we can stay in their lives, I would want to. I mean, until just the other day I had a house full of kids who felt like orphans. If I can avoid bringing two more into the world, I would like to. I don't want to tell the band right away," I added. "I know they're going to try to sideline me or something stupid." It wasn't just that, I also figured that the fewer people who knew, the better. The safer it would be, for them. The kids I mean. Our kids. Shit.
"Another reason I picked boys," I was kinda thinking aloud more than specifically talking to him, but still running the words together as usual, "is because I remember Erzulie said she wanted a daughter and I didn't want her to think I'd changed my mind and-" my eyes went wide, focusing on Gunnar, " OH-MY-GOD-I-need-to-go-to-Guinnee-what-if-she-decides-she-wants-sons-instead??"
Yep. From 0 to freaking-right-the-hell-out in less than 2 seconds.
And Gunnar, I don't know how he does it, maybe there's some special "stop Laurel from having a heart attack" skill that he managed to pick up, but he just put his hands on my shoulders. Looked me in the eyes, calm and steady while my heart was about to traipse right out of my throat. "Doesn't matter, she can't have them. We'll go get her kid and be done with this, soon as we can."

So I guess when we get back to the States, we're getting ready to go to Guinnee.