Tuesday, June 7, 2011

For Every Tear a Lesson Learned

I've decided what to burn. Dad said I needed to pick some things that would signify to Grandfather and... Grandmother (Hercules said not to refer to her as step-anything. Ever.) that I was no longer a child.
It's time to let go of Mom, and all the stuff I've been keeping of hers. I've felt for a while that maybe my attachment to her, and feeling like I failed her somehow, has been holding me back.
So I decided to burn her Christmas ornaments as an offering, the big glass ones I put up each year. It was a way to hold on to her, so that I could still hear her voice telling me to be careful or I'd lose a foot.
And I burnt her paintings, her portraits of us and her landscapes of the place where she grew up in Greece, and the place near the ruins of Delphi where she met Dad and the only picture I had of her parents. Her work. I took the last things she'd made with her hands, and I burnt them to ash.

"I can't run to you no more
to catch me when I'm fallin'
I know I have to let you go
But I will not be broken

For every tear, a lesson learned
Every good time, golden
But now it's time to let you go

And I will not be broken
And I will not be broken
No I will not be broken
But keep the slowly fading memories..."
Eve 6, Girlfriend

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