My List

Ok, Dad. I'm getting over it. I'm trying to, anyway. Sorry about earlier, I just... I have your temper, I guess. And I know there's bigger shit going on than what's happened in my tiny little life. Bigger shit than what's going to happen, even. Yeah, I guess I finally hit that point where I realize that the world is bigger than me. I'm worried about Azeeza, Dad. I don't know how... Well, I don't have much experience taking care of kids, period. They've always been part of my plan, and they still are, but I'm not there yet so they still just look a little bit like small drunks to me. Taking care of a dead kid? Even more beyond me. I'm going to do my best. That's what Mom raised me to do, and I'm pretty sure it's a path you would endorse as well. I just have no idea what she needs. Brigitte says that when she moves on, Azeeza will be alone and I opened my mouth as usual, promising I'd take care of Azeeza. I guess her people closed their pearly gates a long time ago and Azeeza has nowhere to go. I don't know what to tell her. I've only been able to talk to her because of some glasses Brigitte let me borrow, and I don't know what I'm going to do when I get her body back to New Orleans and probably have to give the glasses back to the Baron. I doubt he'd let me hang on to them, even if I didn't need a pretty huge favor from him. Sorry, Dad, I'm rambling. I did want to say that I was sorry for being such a brat. I asked for stuff that I don't deserve yet, I whined when I didn't get it, I didn't give you a chance to talk and then I complained about not hearing from you for a while... It wasn't fair to you. I'm going to really try to be fair, from now on. I rambled a lot too, when I said I was going to follow my own path. I'm not taking that back, but I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't mad at you. It's not like I'm angry at who you are, or like I hate your name. I just would rather be making my own, you know? So... I'm just checking in. I don't want to only talk to you when I feel like I need something.
Um, and... well... I don't need anything, but I wouldn't mind some advice, if you have a minute and the chance to get a word or 80 to me. If you can possibly believe it, you were right and I have indeed gotten myself into some trouble, but I'm not the only person doing so. It's Gunnar that I'm worried about, Dad. He basically pulled a "me" and might be in the same magnitude of trouble I am. After you talked to me (and I should have said thanks then, but I forgot my manners and I'm saying it now), and Mary talked to me... I saw something else. Something with horns, on a throne of skulls, and there was the smell of sulfur and it held the bodies of two people Gunnar had killed and it was squeezing something. There was light, and some music and I don't understand what it means, yet. I described it all to Gunnar when we had some time to talk. I kinda tell him everything, now. Hm. His first question was whether I thought those deaths were going to haunt us. I thought maybe but I said no, because he and I seem to be developing a waiting list of things to worry about right now, including something I thought we'd already taken care of. I guess I was just wondering if you could give me some hints, or ideas... or something... I just want to keep him safe, Dad, like he does for me. Maybe get an idea what we're up against, before we start moving on to the next thing on the list.