Soldiering

"Ambling madly all over the town
The call to arms, you're likened to a whisper
I liken to a radio
You were a brick bag a bowery tuff, so rough...
But You
My brother in arms
I'd rather I'd lose my limbs
Than let you come to harm"
The Decemberists, The Soldiering Life

While I'm thinking about Jack, he's an asshole. I thought maybe he was just quiet, had other reasons for being here. He is quiet, and he does have other reasons for being here ('here' being in the midst of the very abstract war against the Titans) but he is also, and most importantly, an asshole.
After the fight with Caleb he explained, with the barest level of detail, what happened to my car. Camila was driving, and I should thank her for doing so because at high speed a spike strip could have done much more than just popping my tires. It could have, through some reactionary chain, caused them some serious harm. I'm genuinely glad it didn't.
The mortal man who adopted Jack is apparently an asshole, too. So that runs in the family. Jack's been dodging him for a while (he didn't say why or how long), but apparently we kept him still too long. Jack said he didn't think the rest of us would be in danger (he didn't really say what from). That's why he hadn't said anything to us. He said it was something he had to deal with himself, if they caught up to him again (and he didn't say how he'd deal with it or who they were).
Like I usually do, I opened my big mouth. At least I had the sense to do so in a private exchange with him. Before we split up, and before I told Brendan off for his comment in the park, I told Jack he doesn't have to do it alone. I pretty much said to him the same thing Gunnar had said to me. I volunteered to help him, and told him it was stupid that he was trying to do it alone. I know he's a Scion of Ares, and it's a red letter day when he actually bleeds.
I think that's what worries me. His "dad" caused several accidents with whatever that thing on the freeway was, potentially just to divert Jack, rendering Jack's hypothesis that we're not in danger pretty much invalid. I told him he was much more likely to get us hurt by keeping us in the dark. If he would just tell us what was coming, cuz I'd be happy to still be around when it did come, then maybe we could prepare.
That, giving my comrades a chance to prepare (or run away), was the reason I finally told everyone else what was happening with Erzulie. I told him I'd have his back if he wanted a friend. Then I told him I was willing to be completely honest, and I told him what Erzulie's other option was. I wish I hadn't.
Jack said I'd misunderstood. He said, "The reason that I'm here isn't some divine destiny or great journey like the rest of you. The reason I'm here is that I want something Ares knows, and every titanspawn I kill, every plot I foil, every victory I gain along the way brings me that much closer to it. And when I do finally reach it, the titans and their ilk and all the rest of this divine mess will be your problem then. Until then, though, I'm here. You're not my friends, Laurel. You're just the people on the battle line next to me until I get what I want."
I reacted... poorly. I'm not sure if I ever really react any other way. I fumed, "Has it occurred to you that maybe a private investigator, a former cop, and an INTERPOL agent might be able to help you find what you want and get you on your merry way? Then maybe we can get someone on the battle lines next to us who'd care if he got us killed." Then I stomped off, probably looking a bit like a tantrum-stricken teenager. Fists clenched at my sides, brows drawn, overly dramatic, that sort of thing.

He said we're not friends, and that's accurate enough. I really expect that his callousness and secrecy is going to get one of us maimed, if not all of us killed. I can't trust a man who's just on the battlefield to get what he wants. That's not a soldier I can trust to have my back, that's a calamity waiting to happen.
I know he might get me killed. I don't trust him farther than I could throw him. Still, I can't help but care what happens to him. He's part of the Band and I've seen the good things he's capable of doing. He may not be interested in being a friend to any of us, but I'm waiting for him to change his mind. I'm still willing to be a friend to him, when I stop being so furious at him.
I'm gonna Care Bear Stare that motherfucker into a kinder, gentler, more honest disposition.